The alternatives are not plentiful, either, which further burns my ass. I used to like MSN Music, which used a web-based purchasing process - but then they switched over to Zune, which is essentially an iTunes knockoff (from what I understand, since I refuse to download their bullshit software, too). eMusic is okay, but they don't have the breadth of selection I want, and they don't have an a la carte purchase option (or at least they didn't last time I checked). Of all freaking places, Wal-Mart's website does have an a la carte web-based interface...but it's Wal-Mart! They're the evilest of the evil corporations, they're anti-union, and they import massive amounts of crap from China. So...yeah, slim pickings on where I can get my digital music legitimately.

This sad state of affairs does make it tricky to get my digital music fix...and I hate to buy CDs if all I'm going to do is rip them for my mp3 player. Sadly, I was forced to do just that over the weekend. I picked up The Village Sessions by John Mayer, which I am mightily enjoying, and The Calling by Mary Chapin Carpenter, which is kicking all kinds of ass.

While I am fuming a little at having to drag home a CD, rip it to my laptop, and then load it on the mp3 player, these albums were totally worth it. Village Sessions has some tasty versions of some of Mayer's newer tunes; I'm especially enjoying the acoustic version of "Belief" from Continuum. This take on "Waiting for the World to Change" is okay....but not spectacular, and not that much different from the album cut. The acoustic "I'm Gonna Find Another You" is priceless, though, and it's on my short list of songs to put in my repertoire pronto.

The Calling is equally brilliant. Nobody, but nobody, does lyrics the way Mary Chapin Carpenter does. The woman is just plain amazing. Of course I particularly enjoyed "On With the Song," which takes a shot (or six) at the "patriotic" types who vilified the Dixie Chicks/Natalie Maines for speaking out against the President and his war policies. "Why Shouldn't We" is this gorgeous, sweet, hopeful song that speaks to the universality of human faith - no matter the deity in question. There are some great road songs, and "Houston" is this beautiful lament for New Orleans. As usual, my complaint with Chapin is the fact that many of her songs recycle melodic phrases and styles...I feel like it's the same song with different lyrics....but even so, this album is a great listen - I would stack it right up there with Time*Sex*Love and Come On Come On. It's good stuff, even if I did have to buy an actual, physical CD and rip it to hear it.

No roadmap, no signposts
No north star, no lifeboats
No miracles coming in sight
No voices to guide us, no angels beside us
No shaman, no mystical light
No omens, no compass, no seer, no prophet
No cavalry coming in sight
But we're all right

- "We're All Right," Mary Chapin Carpenter

On my way to play music for the old folks on Monday night, I ran into an itinerant artist from Portland, selling pieces on the street. I perused the artwork - it was good stuff, some drawing, some collage. Some of it reminded me of Frida Kahlo, some of it reminded me of Edward Gorey. Very interesting, all of it. I bought a piece that included sketched hot air balloons, a scrap of sheet music, used matches from a matchbook, and a key. I really love it.

I talked with the artist and her friend for a few minutes while I waited for the bus. They'd been through Montana, Minneapolis, and now here in Chicago. They were telling me about this little town they visited in Montana, and how cool the people were. They were pierced and tattooed and wearing funky outfits with clunky boots and giant backpacks. As I was chatting, all I could think about was how much I wanted to try something like that - just pack up and go walkabout and live on art and conversation and exploration.

Of course, that lifestyle doesn't lend itself to a reliable roof over my head, or regular showers. Everything's a compromise.

I recently had a conversation with some friends about activism. This is a word that gets bandied about a lot in Reclaiming circles, as it's part of the genesis of the tradition and a key aspect of what makes Reclaiming differnet from other pagan traditions. Our conversation centered on the progression of spiritual development from that perspective - basically, once I work through my own wounds and issues and bullshit, once I find my place in community, the next logical step is to look at the world and how I can help it heal and grow and evolve and change. Ergo, activism.

The thing about activism, though, is that it's not all protests and human chains and picket lines and getting arrested. Don't get me wrong, that's a very real and very valid and very powerful form of nonviolent direct action. I love that stuff, and I love hearing about it, and I love that people are out there rocking that shit regularly. But, for me, it's just as powerful to take action in other ways. E-mailing jackass corporations whose policies hurt people and destroy the planet. Calling my government representatives - hell, even voting for them. Recycling. Switching from regular light bulbs to CFLs. Eating local and organic as much as possible. Living my life as an unapologetic, active, healthy, fat girl.

I think the most radical activism comes in the form of looking at my life and making choices based on what I believe to be the highest good for myself and for the world around me. I think being honest, trying not to hurt anyone, and generally just doing my best to be a good person and make the world a better place - I think that's pretty damned strong activism. Even if it doesn't come with a criminal record or a picket sign.

Last night, I watched "Becoming Jane," the new Jane Austen costume-drama and alleged biopic. It was okay, but not great. I have some serious questions about whether the writers really "get" Jane Austen's work...I felt like they missed the boat on several points, making the character plucky and witty in a modern way, but not necessarily an 18th-century way - which is a very different thing. Honestly, if it hadn't been purported to be a biography, I probably would've enjoyed it more.

James McAvoy, on the other hand, is unquestionably tasty. Way hotter than in that Mr. Tumnus getup. Mmmmm. I love Scotsmen.

The real surprise of the night, though, was a trailer for this movie. The preview opens up with this line: "I believe in music the way some people believe in fairy tales." By the end of the preview, I was crying. From a preview! Robin Williams plays a street musician who takes the kid in the movie under his wing, and basically the kid makes music as some kind of mystical connection to his long lost parents. Fucking brilliant, I tell you, and some of the lines from the preview made my hair stand up they were so true. I can't wait to see this flick.

Sometimes I feel like such a freak. I make music because I...just do, the same way I breathe and grow hair and burn through sunscreen. I see the world through these oddball poetic glasses, with magic hiding under the most simple, most mundane, most boring things. I think for myself and I love more than I'm capable of expressing. I make my choices based on my values (as much as I can while also being a flawed and inevitably hypocritical human being), and I pretty much disregard anyone else's values when it comes to my life and my choices. I believe the universe speaks to me everyday, offering me chances to touch its beauty. I try every day to shed fear and ignorance and close-mindedness. I try to admit when I'm wrong.

I'm not like anyone I've ever met, and not because I've been chosen by the gods or something mystical like that. I think it's because so few other people have realized that they're not like anyone they've met. I think people spend so much time trying to convince themselves that they're just like everyone else, they've forgotten that they're not. If you ask me, that's where the magic really hides.

We believe in peace within every heart
Why shouldn't we, why shouldn't we
Burning brightly, brightly in the dark
Why shouldn't we, why shouldn't we

So come on darling feel your spirits rise
Come on children open up your eyes
God is all around
Buddha's at the gate
Allah hears your prayers
It's not too late

- "Why Shouldn't We," Mary Chapin Carpenter

Recent entries...
27 December 2007: 2007: Finis.
17 December 2007: A ruse, a rant, and a poem. It's short.
11 December 2007: Music & falling....story of my life.
08 December 2007: Briefly...ish.
29 November 2007: A poem, a rant, a lesson.