The other night, I was walking down the el platform after a woefully long train ride. The sky was easing past dusk into true night, and there was only a small edge of sunset left on the horizon. It was snowing, just little light flurries that were melted before they hit the ground.

I watched a few flakes float through the sky, reflecting the yellow glow of the lightposts on the platform. It was one of those rare moments when the city was quiet, or when it felt quiet to me. It was beautiful; a really simple moment, but it stuck with me.

Well, we've had first frost, and the plants are going fast. I brought in a few - some basils, lady's mantle, rosemary, and thyme. I brought in a parsley which promptly withered without constant sunshine. I also harvested all my green tomatoes (about 20 of them!), and brought them inside to ripen in a bowl in the kitchen....which so far, just one has done.

It was tasty.

Saturn is returning with a vengeance right now. I kinda like it. Because Saturn is in my first house (self & identity), I feel like it's a really integral part of my personality and how I work in the world. I think a first house Saturn has a lot to do with how grounded I generally feel, and how important keeping good boundaries are to me.

If Saturn returns are a chance to cut away what no longer serves, to pare the inessential, to release the chaff and focus on the grain...then I'm pretty much doing that right now. I definitely feel like I'm getting back to the most essential parts of myself - to music, to enjoying my work, to treating myself well, all that good stuff I feel like I haven't really done in awhile.

I'm writing music like nobody's business - and in fact finally managed to crank out a draft of a tune I've been visioning for yeeeeaars: "Forget Diamonds: Tattoos are Forever."

Sadly, Saturn isn't all upside, though. There are some relationships in my life that are just changing, and I don't know that they'll ever be the same. If there's anything that's upsetting me through this process...that's it. Some part of me is still Ice Queen enough to mourn any shift in the relationships that are close and warm - but the truth is that people evolve, and maybe the universe is telling me that the old way isn't the way for me any longer, no matter how much I might want to believe it is. Le sigh.

Samhain is coming soon - the end and beginning of the pagan wheel of the year. I went last weekend to see an exhibit at the Mexican Fine Arts Museum here in Chicago; it featured various ofrendas, the altars built in Mexican culture to honor ancestors and those who have passed on Dia de Muertos. On the other hand, a dear friend is nine months pregnant, ready to give birth at any moment. Could any paradox be more present in my life than this?

For Samhain this year, I'm adding a few things to my home altar - reminders, memorials, touchstones. I honor Aiden, PeVe, Joe, Skuld - those whose presence, guidance, and comfort I sense with gratitude, even if they exist only in spirit.

I welcome Saturn and the darkness together, and I hope I can hear the message the universe holds for me right now.

Recent entries...
27 December 2007: 2007: Finis.
17 December 2007: A ruse, a rant, and a poem. It's short.
11 December 2007: Music & falling....story of my life.
08 December 2007: Briefly...ish.
29 November 2007: A poem, a rant, a lesson.