Once in a while when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
Till you cry when you're driving away
in the dark
Singing, "Stop this train,
I want to get off
And go home again.
I can't take the speed
it's moving in.
I know I can,
'Cause now I see
I'll never stop this train."

- "Stop This Train," The Mayer

I'm sitting in my (relatively speaking) spotless house, knocking back a hard cider, watching my cats, both curled up with paws tucked daintily under furry chins, sleeping soundly to the dulcet tones of the Mayer's new album, including the track above.

This morning, I hauled it out early to go clean up a beach (almost 300 cigarette butts!!), and then hie me to the Celtic Fest downtown for kilts and pipes. The kilts left a fair amount to be desired (sadly, as per usual)....but the pipes were awesome. I love pipes. Gets me all hiraeth and stuff.

Post-Celtic Fest, I bought groceries and came home and did all those homey things - dishes, trash, sweeping, loving on the cats....very domestic and mundane.

Now, I'm drinking the aforementioned cider, sitting at the keyboard contemplating picking up a guitar and playing some tunes.

It's been a good day.

I've been doing a lot of writing and playing and recording. Nothing finished, of course, 'cause it's still a time-intensive process with a huge learning curve....but if you want to hear a first rough cut of the latest and greatest, click here.

Life is strange right now. Some parts of it that have been rough and unpleasant and trying and miserable for a very long time are suddenly bursting into gorgeous, amazing fruition in ways that are continually surprising to me. Other parts, that had been bedrock (or so I thought), are completely shaken and questionable, possibly evolving in ways that will take them out of my life or nearly so.

I'm also facing a shift in my own mentality. I've always believed that what I wanted out of life was someting big and somehow "more," though I'm not even sure what I meant by that. I didn't want to just work a job, come home, sleep, and repeat ad nauseum. I wanted something with meaning, something that impacted the world in bigger ways.

I haven't totally lost that, but I think something in me is shifting (geting older and settling down? NO WAY!). I sit down and contemplate what would really make me happy - what I really, truly want out of my life...and I come up with: not worrying about money, having time for music, earning a living doing something I enjoy, having a comfortable home I can enjoy being in, hot sex at least every night, time for reading/knitting/writing/hobbies/etc.

With the exception of the hot sex (applications now being accepted, if any big, burly men happen to be reading this), I'm pretty darn close to a lot of that. I have a home I love, I'm enjoying the day job these days, I have room for music and hobbies and sleep....it's good. Although there have been some (really) rough patches over the past couple years, and of course I still have some not-so-fun stuff going on (because I live in a soap opera!), I'm sort of....I dunno...pleased? I don't want to say content, because I think I might be categorically incapable of contentment.

But, yeah, I'm getting back to the place I like being with my life - I'm feeling joy and I'm noticing the everyday magic that's out there if you want to see it. The middle-aged man patting his stomach absentmindedly whle listening to a sad Irish air at Celtic Fest (probably a belly full of fish and chips). The patchwork skirt worn by a yuppie chick, walking with her husband and toddler daughter on a warm September evening. The feel of sunshine on my face, standing on the beach with the wind off the lake blowing my hair around. All these little details that are so simple, so inconsequential, but they're the substance of the universe - they're the atoms of memories and beauty, and they amaze me.

I'm travelling for New Year's. I might be in Chicago on the actual night of, but then I am jetting off somewhere....I'm not sure where, but I want to go somewhere and be spoiled and get a taste of something new and exciting. I crave adventure, and I've denied myself for waaaay too long. It's time I went out and conquered something and gave myself a chance to get some new stories in my life.

If you haven't already, do yourself a favor and check out the Mayer's new album. It rocks.

Recent entries...
27 December 2007: 2007: Finis.
17 December 2007: A ruse, a rant, and a poem. It's short.
11 December 2007: Music & falling....story of my life.
08 December 2007: Briefly...ish.
29 November 2007: A poem, a rant, a lesson.