The well that crouches in the depths behind my lips
has gone dry.
Where once words cried joy and leapt forth
generously,
now every syllable aches, bruised, and must be
prized free
with fervent dancing and frenzied prayers.

The relentless beating in the center
has not changed;
the rhythm is steady and
has not faltered;
the molten core from which
inspiration sparks
yet burns fiercely and hot.

The far-flung gazes search the edges as ever,
hungering to harvest
brilliance, ripe wisdom from the air -
but they find no fruit,
no sweet flesh or soft skin
warmed by sun,
offering quiet, unexpected answers.

What could still the currents of this
infinite, bottomless well?
What could staunch the flow of this
cool, vital spring?
What could halt a progression so natural?
There is no asking,
No seeking, no knowing that satisfies.

Mystery lurks, dark and foreboding,
in between moments.
No particle of existence is exempt from
her meddling,
no breath draws outside her influence,
no safety
can be found from her will.

The well that crouches in the depths behind my lips
has gone dry.
I cannot explain, cannot understand, cannot
even guess.
I can only bend before the altar of Mystery
dancing, praying,
Waiting for the water to return.

Th President has not only fucked up my country and ruined lives around the world, he interfered with my plans to go walkabout the city last night. His fricking security and hordes of gawkers barricaded my way forward, so I had to change my route and miss some of my favorite spots.

I wandered, instead, along the river, suddenly unable to find a still moment among the hordes of tourists here for the Taste of Chicago - church groups, social clubs, families - everywhere I turned were milling crowds, loud and disorganized and thick with shopping bags and cameras and stupid questions.

I moved among them, silent as a ghost, easing through the chaos in search of a single breath of my usual rapport with the city. I couldn't find it - the sky was blank and grey, with no trace of pink welcome; the river was dull blue-green and refused to sparkle up at me, reflecting my awe at her beauty; the buildings stared back at me, bereft of their usual fey glow, their usual yearning towards heaven.

I turned a corner and found myself at the top of a cement staircase leading to the river bans. The wall beside the stairs was dark and scarred by the fleeting affections of local skateboarders. I sat on the top step, looking across the river at the bones of the new Trump monstrosity, wondering idly about steel columns and the weight of cement it would take to support such an architectural marvel.

A tour boat slid by on the current; I could hear the guide's lecture echoing off the water, broken by laughter at her jokes. The riverwalk below me was empty, populated only by young trees, barely recovered from their transplanting at the end of the Wacker Drive renovation. Alone, sitting on the pavement stairs, the noise of traffic and tourists receded a little. The river's voice edged into my consciousness, and I held my breath, hoping for the magic.

Of course, that's when a family of chattering photo-holics swept onto the scene, spending the next twenty minutes taking snaps of the river and the Trump construction and each other posing beside the cement columns supporting the ornamental streetlights. My eyes lifted in an appeal to the stark, looming black lines of the IBM building, but no answer came. The family eventually drifted off in a cloud of chipmunk voices. A police boat flashed blue lights in passing. The wind off the lake cooled a few degrees, and I turned to let the almost-full moon lead me home.

I guess, if you really love a city, you love her even when she's in a funk.

Today's playlist:

"Black Tornado" - Dan Bern
"Not Ready to Make Nice" - Dixie Chicks
"Something's Missing" - John Mayer
"Travelling III" - Dar Williams
"Vincent" - Don McLean
"Lose Yourself" - Eminem
"Waiting on the World to Change" - John Mayer
"Next Time This Time" - Jim Croce
"The Shelter of Storms" - Mary Chapin Carpenter
"Halfway Home" - Jason Mraz
"The Long Way" - Dixie Chicks
"That Says it All" - Duncan Sheik
"Offer" - Alanis Morrisette
"Gone" - Jack Johnson
"Yesterday" - Paul McCartney

Recent entries...
27 December 2007: 2007: Finis.
17 December 2007: A ruse, a rant, and a poem. It's short.
11 December 2007: Music & falling....story of my life.
08 December 2007: Briefly...ish.
29 November 2007: A poem, a rant, a lesson.